I'm so excited to share my friend Maggie with you all! I know Maggie from high school, specifically our cheerleading days. Maggie would make me laugh (and pee my pants on occasion) too many times.
How many kids do you have?
Ashton James - 4 months old
Favorite part of motherhood
Since I’m a fresh mom, it has to be that huge smile I get when I come home from work. He knows I’m his mama and that’s the best feeling in the world.
One thing you’ve learned about yourself through motherhood?
The OCD, controlling and planning person I once was, I am no longer. I’ve always been that person who could never just go with the flow and had to plan plan plan. The perfect life doesn’t exists and Ashton has taught me that it’s OKAY. So I’ve learned to embrace the crazy, messy, and unplanned lifestyle.
One truth you wish someone had told you about before becoming a mother?
LABOR/POSTPARTUM, here is my story and things that I wish were talked about more... I thought for sure I’d go into labor naturally, get an epidural, feel great, deliver Ashton, breastfeed right away and we would be on cloud nine from that moment.
Unfortunately, not one single thing went as planned (except for being blessed with the most beautiful HEALTHY baby boy) that I am forever grateful for. On January 6th (2 days after my due date) I got the call to ask if I’d like to be induced.
WE WERE HAVING A BABY AND COULDN’T BE MORE EXCITED.
I showered and got all dolled up (because who doesn’t want to look fabulous while having a baby). I got induced, and was in labor for 20 hours and my epidural did NOT work, at all.
My husband was just the man I needed him to be during those 20 hours. By my side, holding my hand, helping me through every single contraction. Women that go into labor with the plan for no epidural, you are superwomen and I give you major props. Women that do plan for it, just be ready if it doesn’t work for you! You can do it though, I promise.
At about 8:30am the next day I was ready to push, pushed for 30 minutes and he was here. 30 minutes is not common for first time moms, so be ready to push for 1-2 hours! The minute Ashton was put into my arms, it was such a surreal feeling and I was hit with so much love. An hour after Ashton was on my chest it was time for him to have skin to skin with his Dad.
I started to feel very uncomfortable, passed out, my blood pressure tanked and I had to have an emergency D&C surgery due to a very severe hemorrhage. Half of the D&C was done in the room with NO anesthesia. Let’s just say 20 hours of labor, with no epidural, didn’t even compare to that pain. I then had the rest of the surgery in the OR. I lost half of my blood count. 6.5 is stable, I was at 6.7. I I came in with a hemoglobin of 12. I unfortunately did not get a blood transfusion (I was told that since I’m heathy I will bounce back without one). Never leave the hospital below a 6.5 hemoglobin. I am by no means a health care professional but I will tell you, the minute we came home from the hospital, (after all the adrenaline wears off) I felt like I was hit by a bus!
The anxiety, the exhaustion, the guilt, and the depression is SO real. It's something again, no one ever talks about. On top of that, my milk didn’t come in for 9 days, so I wasn’t able to breastfeed like I wanted to. Ashton wouldn’t latch and I struggled and felt so much guilt. Finally after 4 weeks, I said I can’t do this anymore, I need to be my best self for Ashton and this isn’t it.
I am here to tell you, as a first time mom, prepare yourself for a crazy labor, don’t breastfeed if it doesn’t work, and get help when you feel like you need it. Surround yourself with all the support you can get, go out and treat yourself, and let go of the things that don’t matter.
How did you deal with the emotions associated with the above topic? How did you feel transitioning to motherhood went for you? Was it smoother than you thought or harder?
I got all support I could get, I cried it out, I got help and I didn’t give up because at the end of the day, you’re a mother who just birthed the biggest blessing on earth. No matter what kind of labor you experience, you are a rockstar! Transitioning into motherhood is the BEST feeling. Especially after the baby blues start fading away!
Favorite places to seek out mom advice?
My mom, I can only hope I am half the mom she is one day. Since covid was going on when I gave birth, she wasn't able to be there and although my husband was, there is nothing like having your mom by your side. She was there every step of the way through my recovery and to help with whatever we needed. From the 10 phone calls a day to just needing someone to bounce something off of, she's always there. It sure does help to have a mom that works at Children's Hospital, too! I also have my lovely coworkers, I work with so many amazing moms. Who are all willing to share advice, tips and what they feel like worked for them!
Any words for a new mama?
Be prepared for whatever can happen, you don’t HAVE to breastfeed, love yourself. Your body created a human, don’t be ashamed of postpartum depression. Always remind yourself it’s going to get better. And try and love each and every moment with your babe, it goes by so fast.
