I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second baby and this experience has been extremely different from the first.
No, not my actual pregnancy, but the entire atmosphere of appointments, ultrasounds, etc.
With my first pregnancy (pre-pandemic), my husband accompanied me to (almost) every single appointment. As a first-time Mom, I was always a little nervous, not knowing what to expect. So his presence and support was immensely appreciated.
This time around has been quite different.
My husband was able to come to my very first appointment, but from then on, has not been allowed to step foot in the office.
At first, I didn't mind. I'd been through this before, I knew what to expect.
But a few weeks ago, the doctor was searching for a heartbeat and it was taking... awhile. My heart was quickly sinking, my mind was racing to all the bad places and I was really, really scared.
A sigh of relief and a tear was shed when after 5 brutally long minutes, the heartbeat was finally detected. (Baby was playing an early game of hide & seek).
I remember leaving that appointment and calling my husband crying. I didn't think I needed him, I had done this before. But those are the times that having him next to me would have given me the comfort that I lacked in that moment.
Even today, I had one of the most important ultrasounds, the anatomy scan, and I had to do it all alone. I did get to FaceTime my husband which was nice, but I wish I could have experienced this with him.
I know so many of us women who are going through pregnancy right now and in the past year or so have experienced these same feelings. It can make you feel alone. It can make you feel downright scared.
But I know we're capable of doing anything.
In those moments of loneliness, I rest assure knowing that this is such a small chunk of time in my life and I'll have all the support and more once baby arrives.
