One day this week, I just caught myself losing my patience over and over again at my 2 year old toddler acting like, well, a 2 year old. She was whining at me, screaming at me, throwing things and I just could not take any more of it. I had lost the "gentle parenting" style and raised my voice. I didn't feel good acting like this, but I was at the end of my flame.
After I put her down for bed that night, I just felt so terrible. I felt bad about myself, how I was as a parent. What example was I showing her? I just honestly hated who I was that day.
My husband came home and I voiced to him these feelings and he reminded me that I needed to give myself grace.
I've been reading this devotional every night of training camp called, "Grace is Enough." (I'll link it below, it's also on my SHOP page).
Every day, the author focuses on a specific topic paired bible verses and a personal story.
That night, I ironically, I opened up to the page in this book and the title was "Forgiven."
The author literally starts out by saying, "I did it. I snapped at my toddler again."
And I was struck with the thought that Heavenly Father was speaking to me in this moment. Do you ever get moments like that? You'll be thinking or praying about something and then you'll be reading and the answer will pop out like this and you just know.
I think it's so easy for us to feel guilty about everything. I feel mom guilt, I feel wife guilt, I feel friend guilt and the list goes on and on.
But the author reminds us that we are not here to feel like we're underserving of God's love, even in these moments. He asks us to believe in Him and we are wiped clean. We get to start over.
That night, I prayed hard for the patience to take on a toddler tomorrow and to enjoy my day, despite any meltdowns from her or I. Well guess what, the next day felt like a dream. Were there still meltdowns from my 2 year old? Of course. But I felt like I had the power to handle them exactly as I needed to in each moment. I felt so much better going to bed that night.
Being a parent is full of ups and downs. But one thing I do know is that when hard days come, we have another chance to be better tomorrow, we get to start on a clean slate. And toddlers? They are thankfully so forgiving.
Here's the link to the book: Grace Is Enough Devotional
